Let's Get Things Done

So, we have been focusing a lot on the miscarriage experience in itself. How about we take a little bit of time to figure out what to do next. For myself, I love to keep busy. Since I am currently unemployed and without children, I find I have a lot of time on my hands. Some may think this would be a nice way to live, but it isn't. Let me stop you there. It's depressing, lonely, and I feel like a lazy bum despite not being lazy. It's hard to find a job, especially with an injury (more on that some other time). It's even harder to find a job that you like, which isn't the determining factor if I will apply. But it is also hard finding a job when you are still grieving. Very hard. So let's focus on us a minute all right?

Yes, this is me.
Let's do this!

Just because you are doing something fun, or active, or productive - does not mean you care any less about your Angel. Not at all. In fact, if you are a religious woman like myself, then I believe my Taybear is watching me from above, and I want to make her proud. I want to show her that no matter what her mama goes through, she will get through it so she can one day be with her daughter. That is my belief. It does not have to be yours. You could try thinking, 'I want to be the way I would have been if I had my baby here'. Sure they aren't here now, but I bet you would want to have been something good for them if they were. Why not be that anyway? Hopefully in the future you could be, whether to your own children or foster children or adopted. No matter what, hopefully you can be a great influence to somebody children, adults, elderly. Whoever. There is always room for good! So, please. Try to be the person you wanted to be if they were here.

That being said. I have been finding myself more and more depressed, bored, and lazy. Yeah, so I get lazy when all I have to do in my life is chores. So I have been trying to find other things to do which ironically helps motivate me to do more around the house. I'm odd, I know.

Well, Dill and I have a great apartment. Our kitchen is gorgeous and has a nice, large island counter. However...it is a lot smaller than our last two kitchens, so we always have stuff overflowing onto the counters, in the dishwasher, in the sink, in the laundry room, and often times stuff falling out of the cabinets. It doesn't help that I have around 15 coffee mugs that I love dearly, an espresso machine, a large coffee machine, bags of coffee, large tub of sugar, and a coffee grinder. Yikes!

There are plenty more cups in the dishwasher...
And don't mind the clutter please!

So to fix all of this, I looked on Craigslist (Oh Craigslist...you are such an addiction!) for a table. I wasn't really looking to find anything. However, I happened across this adorable breakfast table with two barstools that happens to fit perfectly in the dining room without it actually being in the way. Also, it was originally from Target for $105 and I got it for a measly $35 (well, $40 because we did not have change). SOLD!

Not a great picture, but you get the idea.

Dill was excited, too, once I told him we would have more space and my coffee pot would be off the island counter. Which he hates. He is a very simplistic man, whereas I love lots of colors, textures, and boldness! So this was a perfect compromise since I have always wanted my own 'coffee bar'. I can't wait!

Wait? What am I waiting for you ask? Well, it's pretty dirty. So are the stools. So I am currently working on cleaning them. Also, the grout in the tile on top is filthy and dark, so I have been working on cleaning that. Annnnd here comes the big one! I want to strip the paint off and stain the wood an espresso/dark walnut color! Am I crazy? Oh, absolutely. I have never done anything like this in my life. It's going to cost around another $45. So really, I have just spent about $85 on this table...but that's still cheaper than brand new, it gives me something to do, and I plan on using the supplies on a little bench I received from my grandmother. So it will work out well. $85 to re-do a table, two barstools, and a bench (and perhaps a yucky barstool Dill brought home from work that's scratched and stained - the bad kind, not the good stains).

The stools, and Dill's yuck stool in the background.

This is a wonderful project to try. If it fails? Ah well. I'll go grab some paint and just do that. Plus, maybe it will give it some character. I will be keeping updates so you can see my progress. I do suggest you do something as well. Crochet, workout (my other hobby!), make a youtube blog, make your own blog, cook for groups, volunteer, etc. Do anything. Even things you don't think you can do (like this crazy project!).

I believe in you. It's great for you to try something new.

More posts to come!